i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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