Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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