yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
