would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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