it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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