how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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