Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
