She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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