i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
