you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
