Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
