its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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