After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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