so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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