Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
