bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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