Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
