elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
