These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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