I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
