Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
