It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
