I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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