matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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