And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
