There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think i have herpe
just one?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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