She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You smell like stripper and shame
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
