i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so let's talk penis.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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