My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
