no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
