I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
