his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
