Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
