you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
