it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
