Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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