i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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