Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
