I cockslap morals
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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