So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
