Whod you bang
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
