I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
