it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
