I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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