Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
