suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
a search helicopter?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
my liver is dry heaving
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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