People in love make me want to vomit
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
