he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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