i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
