whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
