if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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