i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
