Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
