If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
